To: All my dear readers!
#Episode28#life#love
Dear readers,
Today I decided to pen down a short letter for you all. This is not a well-thought edition but rather spontaneous. I recently lost my grandma. From that day onwards I realized a lot about life and the concept revolving around it. I bringing it to you all now. I won’t jump into any in-depth details but only the realizations I made these days.
To start with I want to brief you about my grandma. My grandma’s name is Jayshree Kakumani and she is a lawyer and a human rights activist, her life is full of adventures and challenges but she always smiled and fought these hurdles. When I first met her at the age of sixteen I was very much inspired by her work and personality. If you are wondering why I met her so late, it’s because she is not my paternal or maternal grandma but my paternal grandma’s youngest sister. I barely visited my hometown and hence very rarely met my extended family. The first meet with my lawyer grandma was such an inspiring moment for me. She used to visit my home often due to work-related meetings and in the evenings she always spent time with me narrating stories of her life and the human rights cases she fought. The discussions were always intellectually stimulating. Now if you wonder what fun exists in listening to stories about injustice to the poor, human rights judicial cases and the problems in the villages you are mistaken because my grandma always narrated these stories with such ease and she made them so much interesting and fun. A lot of times when she used to tell me stories about the hardships in her life she always narrated the stories jovially. She always made jokes about herself and made others laugh. If you ever sit in a conversation with my grandma, I can bet a million or even a billion dollars that there won’t be a single moment where you won’t stop laughing or smiling. I had a special bond with her because there was a lot we could connect on. I loved her work and I always wanted to serve society. If I have to write about her it would take me at least 10000 episodes of this newsletter or one full book because there is so much I can tell the world about her with just my experience. She has helped lakhs of people in her life and met so many individuals. If I could just write so much about her in just five years I have known her, imagine every individual who knows her for a particular span could write how much! Just imagining makes me go insane because I am sure there is so much to learn from her life. I can go on and on but now I want to share some recent realisations and golden words of my grandma to you all.
I have spoken so much about my grandma, her bold and amazing work in the field of human rights, a little about her personality and how I admire and love her to the core. It makes me sad that this newsletter will never be seen by my grandma and that’s the first realisation I want to share. The birth and death of a person are inevitable and what happens before birth and after death is uncertain, the only thing we know is the life we live on Earth. So we must value people, admire them and celebrate with them when they are with us because after they leave this world we never know if they can hear us or see us. I regret that I never told my grandma how much I loved her and I could never show her the love and admiration I have towards her when she was with me. I also wish I could spend some more time with her but now I can’t. This loss made me realize to appreciate and admire people when they are with us. Recently the Human Rights Forum conducted a memorial service for my grandma but I am not even sure if my grandma had watched this from the heavens because we never know what happens after death, the concept of soul and life after death is a perception but not a proven reality. I felt if the same event was conducted when she was with us and if we had the opportunity to celebrate her when she was in this world that really counts. My grandma often texted me on WhatsApp and shared different quotes and posts that were real gems. I am sharing one such post with you now. In conclusion, the first realisation is to value people around you, respect them, tell them how much you love and admire them. Celebrate them now and spend time with them. Don’t lose your cool for small things and value every person equally in your life. If there is something you want to do for a friend, family member, colleague, buddy just do it now, don’t wait long enough. Don’t expect anything in return, just selflessly show your appreciation and keep enjoying your life. Sometimes it’s just good to say that one word or sentence like, “I love your work” or “I admire you for your personality” or “You are my inspiration” and write that letter or send that gift now instead of thinking about it for too much. Also if you are with your grandparents, or if you can call them up do it this week for sure. Tell them you love them and just spend some time with them, convey my best wishes to your grandparents too. If they stay with you, believe me, you are very lucky and I am happy for the amazing blessing you have. Here’s a short post sent by my grandma long ago and this is very close to my heart.
When I'm dead.
Your tears will flow
But I won't know
Cry with me now instead.
You will send flowers,
But I won't see
Send them now instead
You'll say words of praise
But I won't hear.
Praise me now instead
You'll forgive my faults,
But I won't know.....
So forget them now instead.
You'll miss me then,
But I won't feel.
Meet me now, instead.
You'll wish you could have
spent more time with me,
Spend it now instead
When you hear I'm gone, you'll find your way to my house to pay condolence but we haven't even spoken in years.
Look , listen and reply me now.
Spend time with every person around you, and help them with whatever you can to make them happy, your families, friends and acquaintances.
Make them feel Special because you never know when time will take them away from you forever.
Alone I can 'Say' but together we can 'Talk'.
Alone I can 'Enjoy' but together we can 'Celebrate'
*Alone I can 'Smile' but together we can 'Laugh.
- Lee Tzu Pheng, Singaporean poet
My grandma’s life is a very unique journey filled with twists, challenges and uncalled hurdles but I have never seen her complain about it. I have never seen her scold anyone or complain about any person in the years I have known her. When I compare things in my life where I cry, get angry or get depressed for small issues to her life it feels like I am complaining about nothing, literally nothing. My grandma visited me often when I was in high school and she used to narrate different cases from her experience. Some were related to marriage issues, like inter-caste or forceful marriage, some involved discrimination and some were very intense that I didn’t even have the courage to listen. She became a voice for many who were unheard and she found the meaning of life by sharing the pain of others but again she never shared her pain and sorrow with anyone. She always kept her surroundings filled with energy and made everyone laugh. When every time I heard of these cases I never realized much but now I feel that my grandma fought for so many people and tried to provide them with a better life. While I struggled with small issues that are not even meant to struggle on, my grandma was actually fighting very big problems related to human rights. Then came my second realisation that reacting to every little problem, situation or issue is literally unnecessary. When my grandma fought a number of cases in court and spoke to people in villages I never saw her lose her cool, every time she spoke in a unique way and took control of the situation with ease. I have never literally seen her become angry, or scold anyone. This made me realize that a lot of times out of stress, the frustration we take people for granted, we yell at people for the personal reasons we are struggling with and this is never right. Hence my second realisation was not to nag about little things and understand to manage situations well like my grandma. We lose our cool often in life, it’s important we don’t and just try to remain as calm as we can and control our emotions. Also, my grandma never misused the power and popularity she had, she always went to villages and towns with her own expenses even when she was visiting to fight a case and if you are wondering she is very rich, she is not but she never misused her power. She followed certain morals and principles in her life and never broke them in any situation. That’s what makes her dynamic, dignified and an amazing inspiring human being.
Finally, I have three quotes that I want to share with you, one is directly constructed by my grandma and she said this to me during our second meeting when I shared with her about my life at school and the challenges I faced at school. The rest two quotes are I believe my grandma’s favourite quotes and hence I wish to share them out here.
These are the exact words by my grandma in our chat, “Tell pratima that nothing is permanent. Every hurt we receive, nature will definitely gift us back. We should be prepared to face everything and everyone.”
Don’t worry about anything, my heart. Neither this pain is going to stay forever nor this life_.
This is the second quote and when I texted my grandma saying that this is very true she replied the following, “But we feel otherwise all the time, that is the wrong perception life give us” Isn’t it?
I am great at multitasking, I can listen, ignore and forget all at once.
I am not sure who quoted this but my grandma often used to send me this and this kind of boosted me up when at times I questioned people around me for their honesty when they hurt/backstab me. This quote really helps in case of betrayal by someone we really believed in and trusted.
I really don’t want to end this letter and I am not going to, because I will keep writing such letters to my beloved readers always. When you saw today’s headline I am sure you might have not thought this was in the house today but I hope you enjoyed reading this edition. I also want to let all my amazing HoPatrons/readers know that I admire you all for being with me on this journey and I love you all to the core. My grandma’s demise was really hard on me but I believe the time I spent with her and looking back on it now has changed me as a person. I am devastated that she is no longer with me but I also consider myself blessed to have known her and be worthy of her love and affection. I always loved grandparents but I never really could spend much time with my grandparents, because I was too young when most of them left this world. My lawyer grandma was an angel who showered with me the love of a grandma and always delivered wise words to me. When I sat and cried for days after her demise, I suddenly realized that my grandma never cried and she never was weak or scared of anything in her life when she had so many enemies out there because of the fight she leads for the poor to be heard, so then I decided that from now on if I think about my grandma I should only become more confident and strong rather than being a cry baby. Finally, I believe my grandma has left behind a legacy for the new generations to become more inspired and energetic. She truly is a legend and I am proud to be her granddaughter. I wish someday to write a book about her and write all our conversations so that her life can be a motivation for someone. Thanks for reading today’s edition, it indeed is a bit personal but I bought this because I hope this read will make you equally strong and confident like my grandma. If you wish to read more about my grandma, you can check this article online. There are many more as well, you can reach out to me if you wish to know. My grandma is one of my inspirations and today’s edition is very close and sentimental to me. If you are reading this, please just pray for her and take one action in your life to help someone. I am never bidding goodbye to my grandma because I know though she is no more in this world yet her words, life lessons and support is always with me. Take a moment and close your eyes now and pray if you can. Also, don’t forget to start appreciating people around you, and definitely do reach out to your grandparents or loved ones and tell them how much you love and admire them!
Bye for now! Let’s meet on the third Friday of this month!
Best wishes
Ganga
Disclaimer: All the thoughts and ideas discussed are exclusively the author's individual thoughts and do not represent any association/foundation/individuals the author is related to. Anything that may have hurt the sentiments of any group or groups of individuals is inadvertent and without malice. The author at no point means to demonize or insult any religion, practice, gathering, or individual.
❤RIP to an amazing soul!
Which shall live forever and ever!!